Friday, August 29, 2014

MEN; SAY I LOVE YOU




Why do men find it difficult to say I love you especially to their wives ( one wife for each man please! Lol)
I have had personal encounters where I would say I love you to my husband and he says nothing in return. That for me is a marriage offense! Lol.

I read the story of a woman somewhere, that complained to a marriage counsellor that her husband does not love her anymore, because he doesn't say I love you to her, when asked about it, the man said, he said it the first time he said " I do" to her and he has not changed his mind since then! Lol.

There was another case of a woman, I also heard, who complained that her husband will always say "me too" anytime she says I love you to him, she felt he does not love her enough to say the words. When asked, he said because she calls when he is at work or with business associates, he feels he will be seen as ' too muchy" saying I love you too or I love you back, so to protect his "machoness" he says "me too" lol. This is not acceptable in my correct dictionary of love and marriage o. Lol

I am laughing about this but it's not funny as I see a lot of women being starved of words of affirmation and love by their husbands. Women as analyzed are moved by what they hear and men by what they see. That's why, you will see a woman date an unlikely man not expected of her to date, because this "unlikely man" has used sweet words to win her over.

I know a lot of men reading this will say, this is not in our culture and we never saw our fathers telling our mothers such words, but must we continue our fathers tradition, that ended up in dysfunctional homes or unlearn our past and learn new things that will move our homes forward?

If most of us women will admit it, we want our men to be extra romantic; all the mills and boon, harlequin and soap operas kind of muchy love! Every woman wants to know she is loved crazily by her man. Though I know as women, our love languages differ but it's rare to see a woman that does not have words of affirmation as a love language. If our men, must step up their game, they must unlearn their own way of expressing love in actions only because most men think when they provide your needs it means they love you, but the truth is a woman wants to hear you say the words most times, that you love her, you miss her and all those sweet words that will make her go overboard to feel loved and special.

I believe a lot of men need to learn their wives love need or love language so as to make their marriage better in all ways, women need to do same too. I have seen most men speaking love languages that does not resonate with their women...I don't think it will be too much for a man to ask his wife what her love languages are and what he needs to do to make her feel loved and cared for. When this is done, the man will be able to express his love to his wife, the way she wants him to and this will foster peace, love and unity in the home.

To use the Apostles language, I beseech you men to learn to say words like " I love you" I miss you, I need you, I want you, and other words that will lift up the spirit of your spouse and make her feel loved and cared for.

For those that do not know how to and never say it. This is an assignment for you; practice saying the words " I love you" to yourself, every morning in the bathroom, then graduate to saying it to your wife and then your children. I always tell fathers to affirm their daughters by saying I love you to them, so no boy from " outta space" will come say it to mess up their daughters later, as Words are powerful and have far reaching consequences. So let's learn to do the needful and make our lives and marriages better!

Note; women read this post to your husbands ( one husband to one woman o, lol) and let them know the importance of saying I love you. Let them know, it's as important as water to a fish and air to human.
Men, it's time to step up their marriage game, learn to use words that will make your wife fall in love with you all over again, if you don't know what to say, go read the songs of Solomon in the bible and know that God knows the game of love, in fact, He speaks the language of love, in words and action.
One of my favorite words of love from God, is " I have loved you with an everlasting love" wow, I am beloved of God forever! Priceless words. I pray that our men will be like their Heavenly Father who gave up His beloved son just to redeem us; Christ love for us was His death on the cross, so dear man, give up your ego, African pride and be like your Heavenly Father and not your earthly father.

Assignment; men, go watch the film courageous and learn about saying I love you. I love the part where one of the Lead actor keeps saying "I love you to his boss in error" lol. While you are at it, you can also add fireproof the movie to the films you must watch. It's weekend, so no excuses! Lol. Let's spread the love and say I love you to our spouse and those we love, and sincerely if you don't love your wife and that's why you find it hard to say those words, you need help, try to talk about it and get professional help from a marriage coach or mentor, also pray to God, that will help you feel the love again to speak it out. May God help our men and us all.

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