Saturday, August 23, 2014

CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO A BETTER MARRIAGE




I had to share this to bless someone. I started a 21 days marriage challenge for women with some of my bb contacts and personal friends. We started August 1st and ended August 21st. Writing the daily message, took a lot from me but I knew it was God that dropped it in my spirit to do, and He gave me the strength to go ahead.
One of the ladies shared her testimony after one week of the challenge and I was almost in tears, thanking God I went ahead with it despite the dramas at my end at that time. The 21 days is over and here is my final note to all that participated.

Hello Sisters,

I trust those of us that took the 21 days challenge are better for it. Thanks to those of us that sent personal messages to encourage and thank me for making them a part of this challenge. It started as a thought or brain wave and before I knew it, It became reality!

As I always say, my marriage is my testimony. It's not been all rosy but it's God's will for me and I intend to enjoy and not endure it, and I pray you will do same with your marriage. The whole essence of the 21 days challenge was taking my over 11 years experience in marriage to challenge us all to do better in our own marriage.

I know we are all at different season of our marriages but know that God is the author of marriage and you need Him every day of your life to see you through. As I wrap this up, I have this few tips for you to help maintain and improve your marriage.

1. Learn to study God's words, as it is in Him, we live, move and have our being. Study the word of God and pray without ceasing. Marriage comes with it's own challenges and it takes a praying, wise and "worded" woman to turn those challenges to testimonies. Turn everything troubling you and things making you happy to prayer points; pray that the challenging ones pass away and the good ones continue in Jesus name amen.

2. Enjoy support from family and friends that believe in marriage, studies have shown that if you surround yourself with family/ friends that believe in marriage, you will stay married! So mind your company and mind those you talk to concerning your home.

3. Always look for the good in your spouse and pray him up as he is human. Learn to let your spouse know what you think as he is not a mind reader and is not in your head, so don't keep second guessing and reading his moods or words wrongly. ( I do that most times and my husband keeps reminding me that I should never forget that I am not in his head just as he is not in mine! Lol). Know your temperament and your husband's own, so you know how best to manage him and yourself.

4. Learn advance forgiveness and forgive your spouse forever; I continuously ask myself, what is the worst my husband can do and I forgive him in advance! This has worked for me and has kept my marriage from challenges that would have broken my home. If this is the only thing you can take, from me, please take and run with it. Also learn to forgive yourself and others you think have caused you pain in your marriage. Living with an unforgiving spirit is mental, emotional and physical torture, and you don't need it.

5. Do all that is needed to be your husband's help meet, confidant, friend, prayer partner, cheerleader and all that God wants you to be for him. Make effort with your looks, make your home, a place your spouse will love to come home to. Do all you can to make him, put his head on your lap ( the Delilah effect) but instead of selling him out when he leans on you, encourage and manage him like a "Deborah" . Let him take the lead and support him as best as you can. Be the best woman for your husband. ( so when he is attracted to other women, there is no basis for comparison as you will remain his best woman and his number one choice forever)

6. Ensure you work on yourself, be a better you daily. Know that every man desires a woman that improves herself, remember men always want the latest version of the gadgets they love, so improve on yourself. Work on being the best of you and enjoy your life. When a man sees his wife being her best self, he pays more attention to her!

7. Make your bedroom interesting. Know that one of the reasons, your husband married you, is intimacy, it's high on men's need! Lol. Know that marriage without sex as one of my mentors will say, is a fraudulent transaction. I say it always to those I coach, sex softens a man and making sure, you are your husband's sexual fantasy will get you everywhere with him. ( this may not be easy with work, children etc but learn to schedule sex/ love making with your spouse as you schedule other important things and make sure you have it on your schedule at least four times a week. Lol ; Don't ask me how I came by that number, but 4 over 7 is pass mark compared to 1 over 7) hahahaha!

8. Finally, stay happy, live your dream and enjoy the husband of your youth.

God bless and keep us all. May Psalm 128 speak for our men and may we always be all that God wants us to be for our husbands and vice versa. Remember to share your testimony to encourage me and bless someone.

To your marital success

Bridget Elesin.

Note; I intend to turn this to a book and part of my marriage coaching program. The first set of participant got it for free but the next will not. Lol.

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