Wednesday, May 22, 2013


I read this message and I was blessed by it. Octavia and her husband are a couple I respect on Facebook with their real life messages on marriage and practical christianity. This is another message straight from the heart. I pray someone will be liberated by this post to love for life. It's a long read but worth every word!


He has let me down. He has hurt my feelings. He has left me hanging. He has ignored me. He has walked out on me. He has raised his voice at me. He has hung up on me. He has allowed my tears to fall. He has done things that were uncalled for. But at the end of the day, THAT’S MY MAN! The man God blessed ME with! You may ask, “How in the world can you love a man like that? A man who’s done those things to you”? And my answer will ALWAYS be the same. “Because I am CALLED to love him, even when he is unlovable”! And guess what? It takes CHRIST to love a man who has hurt you in what God called and made HONORABLE!

I did not marry to stay in the marriage for only the good times. I married to stay married FOR LIFE! I married to honor God and not fall anymore into sexual sin with the man I gave my heart to. I married to make beautiful babies with the man who’s called to cover me for life. I married because in spite of his flaws, I love my man! You know, the imperfect man God blessed me with but he's perfect for me.

I can’t just love my husband when he is good to me. Oh no, that is too easy. I can’t just love my husband after mind blowing sex. Oh no, that’s even easier. I can’t just love my husband when he’s putting money in my hands to do what I want with. Now that’s easy as pie! No I must also love him even when he is at his worse because I vowed before man and God to do so! And I am a firm believer that you do reap what you sow. How do I know this? OK let me share!

That same man who has let me down has been dependable. That same man who has hurt my feelings has repented and made things right. That same man who has left me hanging has come back and caught me in the spirit when I was spiritually falling. That same man who has ignored me has given me his undivided attention while I was pouring my heart out to him for hours. That same man who walked out on me has been by my side when I was at my worst. That same man who raised his voice at me is the same man who whispered sweet “somethings” into my ear. That same man who hung up on me a few times in the past, answers my every call. That same man who allowed my tears to fall has wiped them before my tears finished forming. (Oh yes he did)! That same man who has done things uncalled for has done things above what I asked of him. My point?

Marriage is a lot of things, but one thing it is not is EASY! Marriage God’s way is the training ground for the mission field for those who are married (We will talk more about this at a later date). Contrary to popular belief, we do get hurt in marriage. We do have to administer grace and mercy to our spouses in marriage. We do have to repent and forgive in marriage. We do have to apologize and reconcile in marriage. Not just in my marriage but EVERY marriage done God’s way. Why is that? Because marriage God’s way is where you have an imperfect man and an imperfect woman who are both being perfected DAILY through Christ! So, if that husband and wife are BOTH being perfected, what makes ANYONE think there won’t be hard times in marriage? What make anyone think a believing husband or a believing wife won’t mess up? What makes anyone think that Christian couples are supposed to be PERFECT? What makes anyone think that born again believing couples will NEVER have to fight for their marriage? What makes anyone think a Godly couple will not have to battle their flesh? Please let’s be real! Just because many or even MOST couples don’t or won’t share their inner marital battles does not mean that there aren't any battles! Just because many couples pretend that all is always well does not mean that all is always well. Listen, marriage may be private but the testimony on how couples make it through is to be shared to encourage those who need it. God must be glorified, not just in how he’s blessed us with money and with things but also how he’s brought us out of adultery, pornography, masturbation, lying, constant fighting and more. You know…all those things Godly couples “NEVER” do!

The point of this post is Singles, please don’t look at all the weddings of others and only daydream of all the beautiful days of marriage without understanding that there WILL be days that are not so beautiful. Married couples, please don’t look at your marriage as hopeless just because you and your spouse have seemingly failed in so many areas of your marriage. There have been some ugly days in my own marriage. I’m just being real, but the scripture I harp on is how He made ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME! Yes HIS TIME! And if He made things beautiful, that must mean there are some UGLY things that had to be made beautiful right? But just because God will do His part does not mean we don't do our part and work on our marriage. It just means while we are working, it may not look so good right now, but we must keep working and eventually we will see the results we are working for!

If you don’t take anything else from this post, please take away this; when you say “I Do” or “I Will” that means you are answering a call to LOVE YOUR SPOUSE FOR LIFE! Not a call to “love your spouse for now” or a call to “love your spouse only during the good times” but to love them “FOR BETTER or FOR WORSE”! There’s so many things that can go under the “FOR WORSE” part just as there are so many things that can go under the “FOR BETTER” part. But understand that marriage is to be FOR LIFE, so you are CALLED TO LOVE your wife or husband FOR LIFE!

Never let the letdowns and mishaps of your spouse cause you to hate them. Instead use those moments to love them like you've never loved them before! In other words, if you love them at their worse, you will find yourself loving them more and more at their best! I know many are reading saying, “I can’t do this” and I’m here to tell you, you are right. YOU cannot do this. Not through your own flesh but, you CAN do this THROUGH CHRIST!

So for many of you who are going through in your marriage, KEEP WORKING and you will see what was once so beautiful on your wedding day is even more beautiful; even with all the battle scars you and your spouse have accumulated over time. Understand that even though there will be hard times in marriage; and even though you will have to extend mercy, grace and forgiveness to your spouse for their wrongs against you, you were CALLED TO LOVE FOR LIFE!

1 Cor 7:28b (NIV), “…But those who marry will face many troubles in this life…”

But God is always with us, all we (we as in husband and wife) have to do is OBEY and He will work everything out!

Eccl 3:11, “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time…”

Notice it does not say He WILL make but HE HAS MADE. In other words, you and your spouse may be facing problems in your marriage today but God has already worked it out. All you have to do is heed to His Spirit and His Word on what YOU need to do, then you will see the BEAUTIFUL He already made in HIS TIME!

Mark 10:9 (NASB), "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate". #CalledToLoveForLife

Please share this with as MANY as you can as you never know who it will help! Thanks Fam!

No comments: