Saturday, February 9, 2013


I got this article from a dear sister and friend's blog. What's so interesting is that she wrote this article last year as a single girl. She got married just few weeks ago (January 2013). I believe this is a view men and women should sit down and examine to have a better marriage. God help us all.

Please, Stop The Threats by Toluwalase Faith

Ahhhhh! I'm sure I'm not the only lady that's sick and tired of all these 'crazy' relationship articles, written by both men and women on how to treat your husband or save your marriage. I'm all up for learning new things you know, expounding my knowledge because you learn everyday but when it becomes ridiculous, then I have a problem.

One thing I've noticed about these articles is that they always have this subtle threat of "if you don't do so and so, he will go outside to look for it." Aargh! That's what really gets me. Nothing I hate more than a threat and especially the threat of another woman.

First thing I'll like to say is, it is only a man that wants to be snatched that will be snatched. Instead of running into the arms of another woman, why not run into the arms of God, who is able to sort out every problem. Yes, she may be giving you the attention you so lack at home but any mad woman on the street can do that. It may look good, smell good, act good, but if she's not your wife, then she's no good. What happened to you protecting and fighting to keep your vows?

Anyway, who can even blame the men when so called women always defend their atrocious acts. When such occurs, you hear my fellow women castigating the grieving wife for not acting right and blaming her for pushing him outside. They then resort to telling her to do whatever he wants to save her marriage. They tell her to lose weight, dress sexy, cook more delicious food and blah blah blah. If he says stand on your head and walk on hot coals of fire, they tell her to just do it. If he says he wants her to jump off a cliff, they urge her to agree. He wants sex while on her period, they tell her to to refuse because he owns her body, even though the bible clearly says it is an abomination. I'm sorry, what is wrong is wrong and if it against the will and what God approves of, then it should not be condoned. The bible says wives should submit but when it comes to you submitting to your husband but sinning against God, hmmm, you need God's intervention.

For how long are you going to be a "Yes" wife. In a real marriage between two God fearing people, there is room for correction. Whoever said that the wife must never object to what the husband says, is a deceiver and a destroyer. Wives are help meets and if you can't help your husband grow positively, which includes encouraging, correcting, and submitting, then you're a waste of space. Correcting your husband when he seems to be treading the wrong path is not wrong as long as it is done with love and respect. If you approve of all he does just because you don't want him to look elsewhere, even when you know it is detrimental to his life, then you are wicked.

No one is perfect and we all have our shortcomings. He is not perfect and neither are you. Marriage is a union of two imperfect people coming together to create perfection founded in Christ. Marriage cannot be a bed of roses but will encounter bumps here and there. Those bumps are not meant to tear you apart but make you stronger and draw you closer.

I can't stand it when women say men are programmed to cheat. They usually say it this way "men operate by sight, so they are moved by sight,"  and another lame excuse of men are babies who don't know what they want. So women are moved by what? Even if they operate by sight, must the sight move them? Demonic excuses made to justify sin. Where does self control come into play? As a child of God, where does honoring God come into play? If you can't control yourself, then say you can't control yourself. Don't use the excuse of operating by sight. Men that cheat, cheat because they want to cheat, not because they were pushed anywhere. Even if you were pushed out, why can't you push yourself back in? I remember this young lady, spirit filled too saying that if a man cheats, then the wife needs to check herself. At that point, I knew we have a generation of confused women with ludacris views on marriage. Men aren't babies but fully functioning adults with brains operating at maximum speed. They treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. If you condone it, they will go for it. They will test you and treat you according to the results of those tests. So if they see that you're one of those who make excuses for their unruly behavior, they will continue at maximum speed. But when they see that with this lady, no games are permitted, they hang their boots.

Contrary to what all these deluded people keep saying, the success of marriage is not dependent on just the wife but on both parties. During the wedding ceremony, the wife didn't take the vows alone, the husband did too. So why must the wife be the only one upholding them? Enough of all the heavy yokes being placed upon women that it is their sole duty to make a marriage work, and start making the men accountable too. He is called to lead, so he needs to sort himself out and start doing just that. Marriage is made up of two parties, who have now become one and must operate as one, heading in one direction, serving the one true God. A house divided against itself cannot stand, but will surely fall. Until the men are called to accountability, there will be no change. The frivolous behavior will continue and the desecration of marriage vows will remain.

Everything done for your husband should be borne out of love, not safeguarding your home. Why the fear of losing out? If that is what drives you, one day, you'll get burned out because it is driven by a sincere desire. When you shower him with love and attention, don't do it because you want him to prefer yours to any intended other woman. When you cook him that delicious meal, do it because you want him to be well fed and enjoy the meal, not because you want to outcook another. Let your intentions be clear and sincere, not driven by fear or desperation. For how long are you going to torture yourself like that? You will never have peace of mind because you're constantly worrying over what shouldn't be worried about. Yes, there are women who specialize in stealing other people's husbands and are relentless but that is not your battle to fight but God's. do your part in being a loving wife, keep God first and at the center of your marriage and heaven will always defend you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello Aunty B, I nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog