Saturday, September 29, 2012


Husband and wife gist;Marriage was ordained by God, so we should read the bible and get His perspective on marriage before saying I do. We should also learn to commit our marriage in prayers to God as He is the only one that can make us right for each other.

Marriage should be progressive, your understanding of each other should be progressive. Know what makes your wife or husband happy or sad. What does he/she like? What are their favourite colours, favorite things to do...I recently tried this with my husband to know his favorite food and I was shocked at his response, I thought I knew his favorite food after 9 years of marriage, it was obvious I assumed I knew but the truth is I did not know. Lol. So try it this weekend, start asking questions that will make you know each other more.

On intimacy and romance, my suggestion is to know each other's temperament, know if your wife or husband is a morning or night person and adjust to suit each other. As my dear friend and brother Praise Fowowe will say it, denying your spouse of your body is a fraudulent transaction. You must not deny yourselves of each other's body. Ladies learn to make the first move, let your husband know you want him too, it's not just about him making the moves, spice up your love life by making the first move too. Be adventurous and pleasure your wife or husband. ( note, I am not an advocate for x-rated films, because of the demonic influence I believe they have, but I am sure you can get good books to buy that will help you take your love life to another level. I also strongly believe anything done by couples in their bedroom is their business as long as it does not contravene God's word). So enjoy the husband and wife of your youth.

Do something different, make a call to your spouse parents and tell them how much of a blessing their child has been to you, even if he/ she has not been so good forth those things that be not as though they were. Lol...think of any good he/she has done and use that to say thank you to his/her parents. You will not believe the result. My husband and I did this some years ago for the first time and wow, we were blessed. Our parents were happy, we were happy and you bet, that earned extra points on both ends...winks..points for mighty exploits! Lol. If both of you don't have parents, call their siblings or any close person that believe in your marriage, and talk good about your spouse. You will be glad you did.

Learn to treat your spouse with love and respect, be kind to one another, treat your spouse the way you want him/her to treat you. Don't wait for him or her to be nice to you first, be nice and loving all the time and pray for him/ her, soon you will see a big difference in your relationship with each other.

Let your children know you love your spouse, say it to them, show them by the way you treat their father or mother. Note; it's unacceptable behaviour to querell or bad mouth your spouse in front of your children. Let's learn to take our fights to our own little corner and spare the children the headache of seeing us fight. The way you treat your spouse will to a large extent influence how your children will treat theirs, so please ask God to help you with any excesses as regards modeling wrong behaviour before your children. The truth is what they see is what they will do, so give them good memories of what a great marriage as ordained by God should be.
Note; As for men or women that are fond of beating/hitting each other, this is unacceptable behaviour before your children or even in your little corner. There are ways to pass a message without resulting to excessive anger and bodily harm. God help us.

On finance and money issues , learn to budget and spend wisely. My advice to every man is to give their wife an allowance monthly, even if you call it her "me money" this allowance can be used to fix her hair, nails or just to give herself a treat. It shows you are responsible for her, this should be done even if she earns more than you. A couple I shared this tip with, came back to say, it was one of the best tip they have heard as it has helped their relationship in so many ways. The woman no longer takes from her food money to give herself a treat and the husband now knows he has contributed to making his wife look beautiful or have extra money of her own to spend on herself.

Husband and wife should learn to help each other in their own little ways. Be kind to one another, don't keep buying bags and shoes, plus clothes for yourself and let your husband wear just any clothes. A lot of women are guilty of this, they are always gorgeously dressed but their husband's dressing is nothing to write home about. Some men are also like that, they also buy clothes and shoes for themselves and will never care what their wife wears. I believe husbands and wives should help each other dress better, eat better and live better. I am responsible for what my husband wears and he too goes out of his way to buy me clothes, shoes and we have even gone to buy some lingeries together...most men do not even know the size of clothes their wife wears, not to talk of shoes or bra size. Same with the women. Let's change all this and be more interested in ourselves and how we turn out.

My final gist is on going the extra mile for each other; when last did you do something really nice for your spouse? I.e cook him a nice meal, serve him or her breakfast in bed, take him or her to a nice restaurant or even to the cinema? When last did you help in washing their under wears? I remember a conversation I had some years ago with a lady, she said she stopped washing her husband's under wears when she started suspecting him of having affairs..I told her, that was wrong, as that's when she should wash it more and start speaking the "word" to the underwear and the owner, that he will never take them off before any "bound woman" except you his blessed wife. Learn to pray evil out of your husband. All this little things count. Let's learn to do right and see how happy our marriage and home will be. God bless and help us all.

I await testimonies from this post...if a baby shows up as a result of renewed love. Call me to be God Mama! Lol. God bless us all.

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