Thursday, May 10, 2012


This is a post I got from the Truly Faithful group on Facebook created by Pastor Anthonio Vance and his wife Octavia Evans Vance. This message was written by Octavia and it's worth reading by every couple who wants to remain married. The days are evil and the devil is fighting to make sure that marriages fail, we thank God that marriage is His idea and He will always help us as we relie on Him always to see us through our marital journeys . Read and put what you have read into practice. God bless and help us all.

"We may not wrestle against flesh and blood, but WE STILL HAVE TO WRESTLE"! ~ OEV (Octavia Evans Vance)

A Truly Faithful Message to Married Couples Enduring: "FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE"!

As I am still basking in the glow of my husband's success in finishing school, I am writing in tears at this moment but not because of what you all may think. I am in AWE of my Savior! I am thankful that He kept us TOGETHER during the toughest time of our marriage. Many of you may think the toughest time was when we thought our marriage was over, but the toughest part of our marriage has been during THIS trial. But how? Well, it's EASY to give up but HARDER to ENDURE! Let me share more.

In 2009 as hurt and upset as I was, it was easier to stay mad and be separated than to work and reconcile with my husband. But during this trial, there was nothing to reconcile because there was no quitting. Not only did we have to deal with the loss of MANY things, we also had to deal with not knowing how we were going to make it EACH MONTH. Not knowing how we were going to clothe our growing children, not knowing how we were going to buy basic things, not knowing how utility bills were going to be paid. Having our electric, water and phones ALL DISCONNECTED around the same time. I also lost my Grandmother and my Mom had not one but TWO major health issues with the first happening in February 2011 with heart failure, then almost a year later a heart attack right after her Mom passed. Our business stopped making money, we were emptying out the children's piggy banks, we exhausted my husband's 401k and our personal IRA, our bank account was wiped out and on top of ALL OF THAT, God was PRUNING us.

I mean as hard as it has been, THAT is the part I didn't get at first. Here we were going through so much yet God was purging our marriage of things He wanted GONE! So there was constant dying to self, sleepless nights working things out, lots of tears in prayer and some heated arguments to go along with it. So YES this trial is harder than all others combined because it made us look in the mirror and start there and THIS TIME we could not run from the truth by separating. THIS TIME we could not use money to take care of everything. THIS TIME we had NO CHOICE but to stick together IN CHRIST. THIS TIME we had no choice but TO LOVE EACH OTHER no matter if we were in the dark, in the cold, without water or without phones. We had to literally CHOOSE TO LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH EVERY THING!

We had to love each other at our worst; we had to love each other when we didn't feel like it. We had to love each other when they took our car right in front of us; we had to love each other when we didn't have one dime! We had to love each other when we were tired; we had to love each other when we HURT! WE HAD TO LOVE PERIOD!

I saw a post yesterday that said, 'Behind every happily married couple is a couple who had to fight to get to that point'. That is the TRUTH! Many see the RESULTS in our marriage but you didn't see the FIGHT! And I'm not talking about a fight between each other; I'm talking about the fight with our flesh; the fight with our tongues; the fight with SATAN HIMSELF! You didn't SEE that because it was a SPIRITUAL BATTLE; one that can NOT be fought in the flesh!

And that is the point of this post. Married couples enduring, you can NOT fight for your marriage in the flesh. You will lose EVERY SINGLE TIME! You MUST fight for your marriage IN THE SPIRIT! You must fight for your marriage IN PRAYER! You must fight for your marriage WITH THE WORD OF GOD! The reason why you are still hurting by what your spouse has done is because you are focusing on the pain they have caused you. You are focusing on ALL they have done wrong instead of WHO can right every wrong in your life: JESUS CHRIST! It is time to take your eyes off your spouse and all they’ve done and instead PUT YOUR EYES ON CHRIST.

When I had my eyes on my husband's bad decisions, short comings and his tone of voice when he was upset, I almost began to hate him. Yes this was in 2011 when the trial first started. So I texted the oldest of the older wives in the Lord and told her the truth and Oh My God did she minister me to tears of repentance through TEXT MESSAGES! She told me to stop focusing on my husband and focus on my SAVIOR! That's the part you all did not hear because God had not released me to share it publicly. But now I am to share with those in troubled marriages so you can prepare for battle. Oh yes, there is a battle going on and it goes beyond your marriage. It's a battle for your SOULS as well as your MARRIAGE. The God in you is ready for battle; He's just waiting on YOU!

I say all of that to say this. We do not wrestle with flesh and blood and this is the reason you may have been unfocused. When you realize the battle is won in prayer, even with fasting and total surrender to God, then you will stop taking the easy way out and trying to get your spouse to repent in your flesh.

Wives with unrepentant husbands; stop trying to do this yourself and give it to God and then battle for your husband’s soul in prayer. Do you realize if he loses the battle while in his sin, his very soul could be lost to satan? Don't believe me? Read Heb 13:4-5 or even 1 Cor 6:9-10. After you read that with conviction, you will stop focusing on your hurts and will begin to battle for your husband’s soul. Because once he repents and goes back to Christ, EVERYTHING will fall in line, but with much work. So let God heal your hurt, and then you can war for your husband's soul as well as yours and your children's if you have any. This is the part most people won't tell you because lukewarm, carnal or even well meaning Christians will tell you to divorce him. But those in Christ who understand forgiveness and reconciliation will tell you to be led by the Spirit and pray for your husband.

Husbands with unrepentant wives; stop trying to MAKE her submit and repent to God. If you deny your flesh, love her like Christ loves the church, then you may "love her to" our Savior. We know of MANY wives who will endure, but husbands “seem” to be quicker in putting away their rebellious wives. But where are the husbands who have not bowed down to Baal? Where are the “NO MATTER WHAT” husbands like Hosea? Where are the husbands who will pray adultery off and deliverance on their wives as my husband did for me? Are you telling me God only raises up wives to endure? No, you are a MAN OF GOD! It’s time to go to work in the Spirit for your wives. Don't beat your wives into submission, BEAT YOUR FLESH INTO SUBMISSION AND OBEDIENCE TO THE SPIRIT OF GOD! How? By DENYING YOURSELF and giving up YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR WIFE as Christ did for you! Most or almost 100% of people will tell husbands not to tolerate a rebellious, "unsubmitted" wife and move on because they can EASILY find a woman who will submit; but we at Truly Faithful will tell you what the Spirit of the Lord says based off His word, not ours! And that word is to COVER HER ANYWAY and LOVER HER TO REPENTANCE by doing your role and obeying the word of God.

I'm still praising God because we are LIVING WITNESSES of what WILL HAPPEN when you OBEY GOD AND DIE TO YOUR FLESH! You cannot argue with results. The results of prayer, the results of deliverance, the results of enduring, the results of obedience, the results of repentance; all of the results are good even when there are consequences for the sin.

So BE ENCOURAGED! God is STILL on the throne answering the prayers of His People! Pray that He shows Himself strong in your marriage as that was the prayer I prayed. We are still praying for your marriages to be restored to the glory of God! But you “FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE” and believe God for the Victory!

Eph 6:10-12, "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places". #FightForYourMarriage

This is so unpopular, but the word is the word and it will offend so many, especially our flesh! Fight for your marriage in the spirit and give it over to God!

1 comment:

Salt said...

I cannot say anything but this: GBAM! OEV nailed it.