Friday, April 9, 2010

BE WARNED ! YOUR INSECURITY MAY COST YOU YOUR MARRIAGE !

Hello, i have had so many things in my head to write about marriage, knowing that the devil is all out to attack our marriages..I was still thinking about writing on taking intimacy to another level when i saw this...The intimacy topic has been a recurring decimal in most of my jists with friends lately..well thats a story or should i say a note for another day...lol

I honestly feel the only way we can safe guard our marriages and homes in these days of strange happenings is by prayer and the truth we know that sets free...I had to share this piece from my dear brother and friend," Minister" Praise Fowowe as i love to call him as he ministers to your heart when he talks about the issues God has blessed him with to address. To say he is a blessing is an understatement...he keeps a regular column every Friday on This Day newspaper and has a group called" The Last Nigerian Virgin" on face book, where i received this humbling message..i pray that women that fall in this category will learn a thing or two and address their insecurities while our men should do their best to help by not fueling the feeling of insecurity in their ladies..anyways, God help us all and help us to work on any issue that will affect our marriages and homes negatively. May God bless our marriages and bless us all in Jesus name amen


His story on another factor destroying many wonderful relationships:

She was so much in love with her hubby and theirs was a relationship made in heaven. They went everywhere together and she never one day imagined anything let anyone would ever be able to come in between them.
But all that changed when he hired a new secretary who really knew how to take care of her boss. Tosin is the dream secretary to any boss because she thoroughly understood her job and a thorough bred professional. She took a lot of pressure off her boss and commended him all the time about his dexterity at what he does. Oga was too excited that he had gotten an efficient secretary for the first time that he started talking to madam about how good his new secretary was.

He didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing but it was the other way round for madam who became unnecessarily uncomfortable. She started monitoring her husband and made it a point of duty to visit his office at will even without his prior notice trying to look for a way to nail her husband because she didn’t actually believe her husband wasn’t making out with Tosin.

Initially Tosin didn’t really understand why madam started frequenting the office and interfering in their operations but she remained courteous and nice all the same. Then there came a day that madam wished never happened. Oga was meant to go for a major meeting to close a deal and by the nature of the job his secretary and one other executive were meant to be at the meeting billed for the conference room of a 4 star hotel in Lagos, Nigeria.

Oga informed madam about the meeting and she feigned excitement at her husband landing what was meant to be his greatest deal for that year. She managed to get the name of the hotel and wished him well.
It was about 6pm at the lobby of the hotel when all hell was let loose. Oga had just closed the deal and there was celebration all over the lobby. What was left was the signing of the contract papers. Oga was too carried away that he had just landed the greatest deal of his career that he didn’t know when he hugged Tosin, something he hadn’t done before then unfortunately for him his wife didn’t really believe he was going to the hotel to sign the deal as she emerged out of nowhere and started a scene that destroyed the joy of the day.
She pounced on the secretary and started raining curses and all sorts of abuses on her. She didn’t stop at that she insulted her husband publicly as well as other dignitaries present.
Of course that was the end of the contract and the meeting for that day as the man didn’t just lose the contract, his secretary also resigned to work for their major competitor and that also signaled the end of his marriage of 7years.

She had done everything to appeal to the man to take her back to no avail and now she called in to ask for help. I am using her story by permission because it fits perfectly into what I have in mind for us today.
Nothing takes away what is yours from you faster than insecurity. I have seen too many women lose their marriages to insecurity. As a matter of fact I have seen too many mothers as well lose their children to the guy down the road as a result of insecurity.
Insecurity is an offshoot of unhealthy self-esteem and it has its root in one’s inability to trust others or the quest to be in control of someone or something such that you ultimately lose control.
It is the quest to control what is non-existent or beyond you. This usually gives rise to mentally initiated negative opinions and self generated problems which results in breach of trust jealousy and suspicion.
Insecure people find it difficult to trust others and can’t share what they have with others. How many times have you felt choked by the attitude of your partner? And how many of us actually feel right now that your spouse is becoming insecure at your association or competence?
I am waiting to hear from you.

I have a few comments to make but i want to read comments from others, please i need honest feedbacks so we can all learn and have better marriages...

1 comment:

S. Milin' said...

Hi Bridget~ I can only imagine how unhealthy and harmful insecurity and distrust can be inside of a marriage! And I have experienced inside of a romanically-headed relationship the choked feelings DUE TO "the attitudes" of the person interested in me, as well as jealousy from them bcz of my "competencies" (and/or associations). Their insecurities were NOT pleasant to say the least. But on the flip side, being confident in who God made us to be, as well as of the person we're with is REFRESHING and life-giving!

Thanks 4 the post, Bridget!