Saturday, March 20, 2010


We recently just laid to rest my dear father-in-love, who i consider a role model in marriage and family life. As we prepared for the final funeral, i had the previledge of talking to my dear mother-in-love about her dear husband, friend and confidante for almost 50 years, so we can put down her tribute/ biography for the funeral programme. During the course of our discussions, my mother-in-love recounted their lives together as a couple, she shared how he made her feel special by buying her gifts and how he would always take his food tray to the kitchen after eating, she shared on his sense of humour, which he was known for till he passed on and also shared on how he helped so many people through school.
One of the most remarkable story she shared was that of an Alhaji in Sokoto, who asked my father-in-love why he was married to just one woman, and offered his daughter as a second wife to him, in response, my father-in-love thanked him for his kind gestures and said no thanks to his offer by telling him; he wanted to add sorrow to his destiny with his offer!Wise man, Pa.B.B.Elesin.

After his funeral, we all had the previledge of having a chat with his best friend of over 60 years and his wife, and he told us that with only one wife, the problem of a family is solved when there is the death of a man and he said this was evident in the peaceful and joyful final burial ceremony of his late friend.This got me thinking and my mind went to all the stories i have read and heard about the other woman and sometimes children resurrecting at the burial of so many Nigerian men...

Why am i recalling all this, i just saw a man i know too well on a trip with a lady that is not his wife and with the way, they were carrying on, you would think she is his wife or fiancee, before then another friend was stunned when she also saw a friend of her family with a lady that was clinging to him as if her life depended on him obviously going on a business trip with him as his hand luggage! and i truly wonder why our men these days are bent on destroying themselves, including so called men of God who sleep with church members and have numerous girlfriends forgeting the verse of scripture that says "he that is joined with an harlot becomes one with her and the admonition to flee sexual Immorality as contained in 1 Corinthians 6 - 12-20.

Most times, from my observations, these ladies outside are not as pretty as the wife inside and i wonder how the men will feel if the reverse is the case..please don't give me the men are players story plus its not cool to eat just one soup..what if the reverse was the case..? God forbid bad thing! My prayer for all husbands is for them to fear God and live with the wife of their youth with understanding while drinking water from their own cistern as adviced in Proverbs 5 with emphasis on verse 15 - 23. May God help our husbands and us all to know that the vows we took on our wedding day are sacred and must be honored to the letter.

May we not add sorrows to our destinies by making the wrong choices to cheat on our spouses, especially on the side of the men which is most common in my dear country..Lets know that marriage is a covenant between us and the Almighty God and so we should take it seriously. God bless and help us all to finish well like my dear father - in-love.

Note - Lets take time to study Genesis 2 - 20- 25, Matthew 19 - 3-6, Ephesians 5-31 and may God help those that are already in this and even have children outside their home, to please do themselves and their family a favor and tell them the truth and put things right as it will be too much pain going through a death and then be faced with another wife and! that man's corpse will be brought back for machine flogging, so that he will carry the scars to meet his maker! hahahahaha. don't mind me and my some times warped sense of humour..honestly, its not a situation i wish my enemy.My prayers for us as wives is that God will give us the grace to be the God-kind of wives, our men desire; intimately, physically, spiritually and in all other areas. God help and bless us all.

God help us all indeed.