Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Happy new month of October 2009, its your month of completion, as 10 is a number of completion, its a month of laughter and celebrations.I pray that we will all have reasons to testify this month in Jesus name amen. This month i will be featuring some post from some of my friends. The first post is from a dear friend and brother, Aaron G Leye, i saw this post on facebook and i begged him to allow me share it on my blog, as i had an "aha" moment reading it, it helped in confirming the inspiration for the group on facebook called "Next generation of fathers". Enjoy the post and leave your comments


I was chilling at home the other day and I happened to catch an episode of Maury on living channel. It was one of the episodes where women drag men on to the show to find out whether or not they are the father of their child. As Maury had the DNA results and repeatedly read out those words ‘you are not the father’, normally I would laugh it off. This time was different. I felt a pain in my heart and a tear rolled down my eye as I looked at the babies and it dawned on me that these children might grow up without ever knowing whom their father is.

A couple of days later I was watching the big question on a Sunday morning and the question of the day was ‘Is a father really needed in a household?’ As many of the audience began to try to justify why a man isn’t necessary except as a sperm donor I realised how bad a situation we are really in.

Then I read an article from America about the black community over there which had the following shocking statistics:

70% of homes in black America are single parent homes run by women.

73% of women raised in those single parent homes go on to have homes where they are the only parent. In other words they continue the cycle.

69% of men raised in a home with no father will either end up in gangs, jail, dead or they will be homosexual. The men have not had a relationship with a father so they go looking for one. They will end up finding it either physically in gangs or in some cases, they will find it sexually.

Yes this is in America and not here but normally we know that whatever happens over there, the UK isn’t far behind.
I truly admire single parent mothers and I truly thank God for their lives because they cope with so much. Many great men and women have come from single parent homes. They deserve a lot of credit. But there is one big problem. A Mother can’t be a father, because she is a mother.

Proverbs 13: 5 ‘A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds corrections shows prudence’

Through all of these things I had one big question….WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?

In the Bible in the book of kings many of the Israelite kings took part in Baal worship and offered child sacrifices to Baal. What would happen is that as the babies where thrown into the furnace the prophets of Baal would bang on drums and chant to drown out the cries of the babies.

This may sound detestable but many of us are doing the same thing today. Within the ‘church’ divorce is on the increase, men are AWOL (absent without leave), mothers are having to be the spiritual heads of their homes, and many families are in a mess.
I put the blame solely at the feet of men. But what do we do? We beat drums, sing songs like it isn’t happening, drown out the spiritual cries of the children and in effect we could lose a generation.

Once again I have the same question…..WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?

WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?……that will teach their sons how to be a man and will be a strong Godly role model for him? Proverbs 13:1 ‘A wise son heeds his fathers instruction, but a mockers does not listen to rebuke’

WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?……that will treat their wife like the queen that she is? That will love her unconditionally in the same way that Christ loves us unconditionally? Ephesians 5: 25 ‘ Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her’

WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?……whose daughters will see him and know how a man should really treat their women. So they won’t feel like they have to give their body to a man to feel loved. But will actually realise that if he truly loved them, he would wait for the right time?

WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN?……that when the physical/spiritual enemy comes to attack their family, they will stand at the doorway of there home and declare ‘over my dead body’.

Lastly…..I have a question for the guys….

You are the MD of a large company with two daughters. You have two workers and you had to pick one of them to sack. Both of them were married to your daughters. One of them was not the most productive employee but he always gave 100% and treated your daughter like a queen. The other employee was the best in the company. He made record profits but he physically and emotionally abuses your daughter. Who would you keep and who would you want to sack and remove from your family?

Men, if God gives you a daughter of Zion and you mistreat her, everything else you do for Christ is obsolete. It doesn’t matter. Your first ‘ministry’ is your family. Let us please begin to clean up this mess.


If you know any real men, please share this with them and let them know they are not alone. We have work to do. God bless you.

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