Monday, February 2, 2009


I am mighty passionate about marriage, God's way and raising Godly seeds, that will be light/salt to the world indeed! I have learnt from the best examples and i still learn daily from those that are happily and unhappily married! She laughs!

My Parents have been married for over thirty eight years and my Parents inlove for over 48 years, so i have solid mentors that i am following in this institution called marriage, i have watched these two couples over the years and the truth that is common to both relationship is the true bond of friendship that they share and the lines of communication that are forever open! I have truly come to see the three Ls of marriage in their lives, that is :Love, listening and laughter in both marriages and what amazes me is that they were probably not bornagain when they got married but they know within themselves that marriage is a life time committment and its till death do they part! (My prayer for them is that they live very long, above 90 years each and truly rock and enjoy this world and stroll into heaven with their bodies/minds intact and active in Jesus name amen).

Watching these two couples have brought me to a realization that marriage takes work and its a daily walk of faith, love, forgiveness, patience, tolerance with all the fruit of the spirit as in Galatians 5 - 22 and what true love is, as expressed in 1st Corinthians 13. (Please read and get a true understanding of these two bible verse/chapter).

As i said in a couple of posts, anytime i have a topic in mind, i get a message in that line to aid my thinking and writting, this has truly made posting my thoughts on my blog a lot easy. It so happened that on Saturday, that i turned my TV set, and i heard a Pastor, Ed Young, talking about marriage and people!, was i blown away!

Here is a summary of what i got from his message:
That in marriage, it is one plus one equals one as in Genesis 2 -24, which says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to the wife and they become one flesh, he gave reasons why Christians should stay married

1. Jesus - He said, our marriage should reflect the gospel of Jesus, His death: That couples should die to self, burial: To bury all filth and resurrection: to come alive again to be the blessing God has called us to be. He said reconcialiation, unconditional love, unselfishness is what Jesus stands for and so should our marriages be!
2. He said people give different excuses of why they can not continue in their marriages i.e We do not have anything in common, we have fallen apart, fallen out of love but he said all this excuses actually mirrors what the other person is, that is if you are the one complaining and you are doing so, in front of a mirror, because of the type of mirror used, it will either magnify you, or make you look smaller, so those complaining are the ones that should really first take a good look at themselves!- Hard truth!
3.Staying for others i.e for those that are looking at us as Christians, what will our lives speak to them as regards our Married life, he said people's faith will be affected as they see us fail in our marriage which is suppose to be the highest form of relationship, if Children are involved, their own lives will be affected and for some of this children, they may never want to get married, when they grow up because of the pain of seeing their parents marriage fail. He said Christ love for us was intentional, so our love too for our spouses should be intentional!

He further gave some benefits of being married, which i also saw on a website (Just the Fact: Marriage CoMission). It was written by a David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg and some of the benefits listed are

1. Married people live longer than unmarried or divorced people. Nonmarried women have 50% higher mortality rates than married women and nonmarried men have a 250% higher rate than married men. (Waite & Gallagher, 2000)

2. Married people are happier than single, widowed, or cohabiting people. About 40% of married people report being very happy with their lives, whereas only 18% of divorced people, 15% of separated people, and only 22% of widowed and 22% of cohabiting people report being very happy. (Waite & Gallagher, 2000)

3. Married people have more sex and a better quality sexual relationship than do single, divorced or cohabiting individuals. (Waite & Gallagher, 2000)

4. Married people are more successful in their careers, earn more, and have more wealth than single, divorced or cohabiting individuals. (Waite & Gallagher, 2000; Antonovics & Town, 2004)

5. Children from homes where the parents are married tend to be more academically successful, more emotionally stable, and more often assume leadership roles. (Waite & Gallagher, 2000; Manning & Lamb, 2003)

6. Adolescents living with their biological parents are less likely to have sexual intercourse. (Pearson, Frisco, 2006; Sieving, Eisenberg, Pettingell, & Skay, 2006)

7. Two-parent households protect children from the negative effects of poverty. In the U.S., nearly 60% of the children from single-parent households live in poverty, as compared to only 11% of children from two-parent families. (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006)

8. Adolescents living with both biological parents exhibit lower levels of problem behavior than peers from any other family type. (Carlson, 2006)

9. Males whose parents never married are significantly less likely to marry and more likely to cheat on their romantic partners. (Colman & Widon, 2004)

10. My own benefit, is that as a married couple, you have a jisting mate, a cook, driver and reluctant shopping mate, business partner, Laughing/strolling buddy any day any time! She laughs! The final benefit is from one of my South African friends that once said, she will marry for the 11th benefit!

11. You will not be lonely as you grow old and will have someone to sit by your bed as you pass on! she laughs!

All the above reasons are good enough for those that are not married to desire it, while those that are married should do their best to remain and reap all these benefits and much more!

My final word is : Lets try and work on ourselves as there is no perfect man or perfect woman, if you have read Taming of the Shrew by Williams Shakespear, you will understand that any person can change! For those thinking it is greener on the other side, kindly look for Tyler Perry's film, titled: "The family that Preys" and you will understand better, that it pays to work on your own treasure and stay the course of making it a precious stone indeed! God grant us wisdom !


empower yourself said...

Amazing statistics. Hmmmmm

Anonymous said...

I feel you blog very relevant to my situation and will follow thanks

Bridget Elesin said...

Thanks to all my faithful commentators, very soon, i will do a roll call and truly appreciate you all, for your amazing support! indeed, you all help to fuel the passion to write more.God bless and honor you all.
@dabizniz, Its well my dear brother!