Monday, January 26, 2009

FAMILY - MAN AND WIFE PERSPECTIVE !


The family is a key factor in building a better society as we can all see that not keeping the main thing, the main thing, is helping to birth a generation of Godless people as very few parents sit at home to teach their children life lessons, mothers are no longer at home to be mothers to their children, there are no fathers to sit and pass on the family values like Joshua was told in the bible, there is no ancient landmark to follow as no land mark was put there in the first place! The world statistics on divorce is alarming and everyday we hear frightening stories of couples around the world.

Marriage is now defined in so many ways, not as God intended but as man defines it! People are happy to be singlely married...whatever that means, living together and having children without being joined together officially as married couples!, its so sad that things are happening to make the institution of marriage a sham!
Marriage was originally defined as the legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife (American Heritage dictionary). Another defination is that Marriage is a social, religious, spiritual, or legal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the married status created is sometimes called wedlock...This defination from the Wikipedia, gives a defination to same sex marriage..which is gradually becoming common in some countries! But what i am talking about here is a marriage between two people of the opposite sex: a man and a woman!

Having said the above, For any family to flourish, the husband and wife needs to be in a relationship that is real and honest; Honest with their feelings and real to themselves. They must work on their relationship as man and wife constantly and get to the level where they can say they truly understand each other. The bible says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church and the women should be submissive to their own husbands. I have found out in my few years of marriage and also of watching other married role models, that adhering to the above words truly makes the difference in any marriage.

Before i got married,i had told myself that marriage was a life time committment and an institution that one can not graduate from, as my parents have been married forever!lol and also my belief in God that marriage was a case of only death can seperate me and my future spouse! So i was very prayerful about getting married and trust my mum, it was a prayer project for her too!lol, and God answered our prayers by giving me my husband!

As i tell people especially the young and intending couples that my husband and i have the previledge of counselling, my husband's proposal was first a business proposal as he told me all he believed he would be doing years ahead and where i saw myself in all his plans!lol, it was funny but i actually saw the prospect of being his partner, in everything he had outlined and the beauty of it all was our connection, which was first our love for God, ourselves and the things of God, our faith in each other, that though our beginning was small, God will increase us and our openness in embracing our new life together!The film proposal came later on the beach....lol!but for me, the first proposal was the real deal!She laughs!

When we got married, we sat down and told ourselves, that we must make things work and we started putting action to words, first was our monthly dates; every day of the month we got married, we had an outing, where we talked to ourselves and evaluated our relationship, we had this five things i like and five things i do not like about you that we would always do. I will tell him things i feel he is not doing right and vice versa. The bottomline was to help us communicate our feelings and truly express ourselves with the intention to work on the areas where we fell short! All this helped and has formed the foundation of our marriage and when the children started coming, we also had to re-evaluate our relationship from time to time to accomodate the new additions. We have had to agree on some family values to pass on to the children and the most important one was giving them a foundation in Christ, Praying as a family, getting them involved in our lives, loving them, being their friends, plus modelling right behaviour before them and correcting them in love when they go wrong!

As parents, we have had to learn that children are not toys that come with manuals and each child is different and must be so nurtured. Its been a challenging job but everyday, with God as our help and the maker of the children, plus tips from relatives and friends with older children, its been a journey of great progress. Every day is a revelation as husband and wife and as parents too! We have all come to embrace the truth that we are a family, that God is raising up for a purpose and in due season that purpose will be manifested as we continue to serve God and love ourselves, while doing our best to encourage and support as many people that come our way!

We believe in God's perspective of man and wife and we truly see our children as blessings from God and like Joshua in the bible in Joshua 24 -15b, we will continue to say as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!

3 comments:

empower yourself said...

Thanks for blessing us with your family experience. I have benefitted a great deal.

campusxcellencemag said...

Bridget, this is a nice one, I am saying it again that you belong to a different class of writers, you can actually pen your experience succinctly and it will still seem like a scripted work of fiction!!! go girl, you have not started!!!!!!

Amen said...

LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT ARTICLE!!!!! really loved this , keep it coming.