Monday, January 19, 2009


I have had the previledge of talking and counselling with a lot of young intending couples and even older couples that are married. We had serious talks during those sessions and God has been faithful to help us all learn from each other. Marriage is an issue that can make or mar a person and as a person that believes in God and the institute of Marriage as ordained by God, i believe anybody going into the institution of Marriage should be prepared in so many ways i.e -Financial - having a job to do and earning money to care for your family especially on the part of the man. Shelter - having a place to call home that they can stay and start their lives together. Physically ready and not wanting to marry as a result of parental,peer or societal pressure, Emotionally ready - To love your spouse unconditionally as Christ loves the church and forsaking all others, and above all, being Spiritually ready for it as God indeed is the author of Marriage which He started at the garden of Eden with the first man and woman on earth - Adam and Eve!

As the author of Marriage, God has his manual for marriage as can be seen in the bible and the various Scriptures supporting the conduct in a godly marriage, so its our role as people intending to marry and stay married to pattern our relationship after God's pattern, I pray He will help us in this institution called marriage, and help those that are intending to marry to first of all sit down and count the cost, and not dive into the institution without being prepared, for those already married, i believe the Holy Spirit is your best helper and confidante in marriage as He will help you live your married life according to God's standard. I pray for God's help for us all as this is an institution that you get your certificate at the beginning of your entering it and you never graduate from it until death do you part!

I will be doing a lot of writing/post on Relationship and Marriage and will ask my faithful readers to help with their godly counsel and comment, so we can all learn and be blessed. Find below a question asked by a sister in Praying Maiden, a group on Facebook quoting this scripture " Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Gal 5 vs 22. and Is it easy when you are older? and my response to her post as i felt led to answer to her question:

Sister, thanks for this, i think the scripture you chose explains it all "wives- not age mate,older person, etc, submit yourselves to your own husband! so i honestly and personally do not think its an issue if the lady is older, the important thing is, is she a God fearing woman?, does she love him, respect him, see him as a priest, mentor in her life, can she live with him without thinking of the age issue and making him feel small in a bad way? then if she can answer yes to all this, age indeed is a number and not important. I have seen people married to older men with the behaviour of teenagers/younger children and i have seen people married to younger men with the Godly wisdom and maturity that only God gives! Its our culture that makes an issue out of it as i do not know of the place in the bible where age is a criteria except that God created Adam before Eve! so if thats the angle to which we have made age an issue, then we need to rethink our stand ! I end my post with this scripture from Amos 3-3, "Can Two walk together except they be agreed ?", so the key here i think is agreement! May God grant us wisdom at all times!

I sincerely believe that God will help us to set a proper foundation for marriages and repair the foundations of challenged marriages in Jesus name amen.Indeed God is the author of marriage and is the author and finisher of our faith and all that concerns us!


Adesoji Adegbulu said...

Wow...I like your view..I don't have a problem marrying a woman older than I but not tooo old sha - A max of 5 year of

Unknown said...

This issue has consistently and continuously bothered me especially as a man... marrying someone older?!
I like your views though but i still think for the man to be the head indeed and to avoid miscontruing some of the woman's deeds as marks of disrespect (even when she doesn't intend to do so) a man will be better off is he marries a younger woman. Although some of our parents did so and they enjoyed peaceful marriage life...but the key word like you rightly said still boils down to AGREEMENT.
How many couples of age-mate agree till the end, not to talk of ...?

So help us Lord!