Sunday, December 28, 2008

Bridget's Muse-Advanced Forgiveness!

This is one post i told myself i must write before we go into year 2009, as i believe we all need to practice what I and my husband call advance forgiveness just like Jesus did, that while we were yet sinners He came and died to redeem us!
I have been following a story in America,California to be precise where a man dressed in Santa Costume went to His former in-laws apartment where they were having a family Christmas party and killed about 8 persons including himself because of a bitter divorce settlement with his ex-wife.His plan was to kill and run away to Canada but unfortunately after shooting some of the guests, he set fire to the house and his Santa outfit also caught fire and this made him to drive to his brother's place where he shot and killed himself.The police later recovered from his body, a ticket to Canada and some amount of money.Thinking through this, i could not help but feel sorry for the man and the innocent souls, he has either sent to heaven or hell depending on their relationship with Christ while they were on earth!

Whenever i hear people talk about divorces due to irreconciliable differences, i always ask myself what are these differences that can not be reconciled and why will people that started out in love, hate themselves so much that they end up hurting or even killing themselves?Only God can answer this question satisfactorily eventually when we meet Him.I believe if we all practice Advanced Forgiveness, which my husband and i has defined as taking forgiveness to another level,we forgive forward by not being angry at someone no matter what they do!
This has helped us since we got married over five years ago. My husband started it by telling me from day one that he has decided to forgive me forever and this has been the foundation of our relationship/Marriage that we tell ourselves that like Christ we must always walk in love, no matter our differences,i also try not to take him for granted despite the truth that i know about being forgiven forever! to use this example, the tongue and teeth in everyone's mouth are so close, as you need your tongue to taste and teeth to chew, so they actually complement each other but despite their complementary role, the teeth still bites on the tongues sometimes, but this does not make you take the tongue out because the teeth has bitten on it or take the teeth out because it has bitten the tongue, as they need each other to continue the work of tasting and eating despite their differences, so we all need each other too.

I tell people i counsel most times that unforgivess is a death trap that as you stay angry at the person who has offended you, you dig a trap that you will fall into too, as it takes so much energy to hate and live in unforgiveness, unforgiveness will also lead to some certain illnesses including heart palpitation especially when you think of the person and what he/she has done to hurt you.From the story of the Santa killer, you can see that his unforgiveness led to his killing others and himself.Lets choose the coming year 2009 to walk in advanced forgiveness, no matter what people do to hurt us, those hurting us, have no right to hold us to being bitter,resentful and taking evil actions, decide today that you have the right to the decisions you make and from now onward,you will choose to walk in advanced forgiveness!


empower yourself said...

This is timely and relevant now than ever. Someone rightly said that he who fails to forgive burns the brigde he may one day need to cross.

Oluyemi Adeosun

Amen said...

The concept of advanced forgiveness is a good way to go about life, to me i think it simple means working in love and this helps to prepare for the inevitable. "people will be people". The main reason i forgive is, whenever i go before God in prayers i am constantly asking Him for forgiveness. Knowing that i am not perfect helps me forgive others. And also in sheer obedience to God, i forgive. There are times however ,i know i do not have to be close to the people that cause me harm and grief. And in such cases after forgiving i love them from afar. This way i simple pick my battles and move on with life. Knowing when to remove oneself from unpleasant situations maybe, could have helped the santa clause killer. Forgiveness is one thing, but constantly being in a situation or in an environment or with a group of people or a person that is detrimental to your life can drive anyone insane. Yes forgiveness is vital but we have to learn how to protect ourselves from being hurt. This is where WISDOM comes into play. The book of proverbs is loaded with instructions and advice on how to avoid unnecessary hurt and pain from people who sometimes, do not even know the amount of pain they are inflicting on you. It is good to turn the other cheek, but i am sure this does not mean go get yourself battered. keep writing bridget , this is another very good one. love always.

Anonymous said...

I just jumped onto your blog and find it really interesting. My situation is very one of hurt and maybe you can help save a marriage that I once thought would stand no no matter the storm